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Do your kids need Perfect parents?

There is no perfection in parenthood.

We get to be human and make mistakes. We get to lose our cool and navigate repair. We get to model imperfection so they know what happens next.
If you weren’t perfect today, you aren’t failing. You can still foster a secure attachment. Your kiddo can know they’re safe and loved. You’ve got this and we’ve got your back on this journey.

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"Are you trying to get me to notice you?”

“Are you trying to connect with me?”

"Are you curious if I’m paying attention to you?”

We all want to feel SEEN. Kiddos often ask us in inconvenient and even frustrating ways if we SEE THEM. 
If a behavior feels like it is for attention, it is for connection. They’re wondering if you notice them. We get to let them know that we see them and teach them another way to let us know when they need to connect with us.
We often focus on stopping the behavior, or telling them what we don't want them
to do. It can be really helpful for kiddos if we can also build in what they CAN do instead: 
Instead of throwing your toy, you can say: “Mama, play.” 
Meeting the need for connection does not have to be 1:1 attention. For many of us, that would be nearly impossible. It can be catching a moment, “I noticed you picked up your LEGOs when you were all done. Thank you for clearing the floor for us to walk.” “I saw you help your sister reach her crayons today. You’re so thoughtful.” 

How has your little been seeking connection lately? What fills their bucket the most these days?

Part of holding space for a child's feelings  is allowing them to feel on their timeline, not on ours. This can be really really tough, especially if nobody held space for you to feel when you were a child. 

"Children don't learn independence.
They grow independent.
And they do it naturally in their own time, just like they learn to crawl and walk and talk in their own time.
The simplest and most effective approach to growing independence is, ironically, to meet children's attachment needs.
It is trust that frees children to grow, explore, and develop, not forced independence or broken attachments."
—L. R. Knost